Eating Bon Bons

       Stay at home moms just sit around eating bon bons all day. So they say! I don’t know how true that statement is but let me tell you what I’ve been up to. So it all started one warm October day, my son expressed that his heart’s desire was to be a Lego man for Halloween and not just any Lego man but a master builder Lego man. So what is a mom to do, explain to her child she does not have time to make a MBA Lego man costume, admit she would rather eat bon bons all day, or rise to the occasion? Yep! That is right I couldn’t resist. How could I let my oldest child, my little Lego man not live out his dream? So there I was sweating in the sun measuring every centimeter of a Lego man, converting that into inches, cutting out cardboard pieces to match, and wondering “why am I doing this?”. Well let me tell you because after countless hours of crafting cardboard, duct tape, foam wreaths, contact cement, oatmeal boxes, toilet paper rolls, poster board, popsicle sticks, and paint into a scaled replica of the Lego MBA man, it was worth it. Not only did my son love it and could not stop looking at himself in the mirror but with tears in his eyes he said I was the best mom in the world repeatedly. Did you hear me repeatedly, not just some casual yeah you’re the best. No, repeatedly, wholeheartedly, sincerely the” best mom”! Judge my mothering all you want, say the good, say the bad, and give your trophies to another. I don’t care. Did you hear what my son said?

      Anyway, Halloween day came and it was pouring rain and my son had a dilemma. Wear his Lego man costume with pride and joy for one great day and come home with it destroyed from the rain or resort to being Darth Vader for the second year. After countless hours of crafting all month for one Halloween day there I was with an umbrella trick or treating with Darth Vader. So was it worth it? Absolutely! I didn’t do it for Halloween. I didn’t do it so I could write this blog. I did it for my son. I did it for the smile on his face, the tears in his eyes, and the file in his memory bank. And besides we still ended up with a bowl full of Halloween candy.

      A picture is worth a thousand words so close your eyes and visualize this for me. A sick eighteen month old on my hip wet wash cloth on her forehead thermometer under her arm being held by the same hand that is holding her on my hip, one foot standing on a towel mopping up a water spill, a three year old pulling at my other  leg crying because her sister won’t share a toy, a thirty week old fetus in my womb,  the phone squeezed between my ear and shoulder talking to any adult that will listen, my free hand is browning ground beef for dinner, and somewhere in between two fingers is a snickers bar I stole from my kids Halloween bucket and I am enjoying ever little bite. And I’ll probably even have another one! No I don’t feel guilty and yes it is worth it, because what you didn’t see was the smile on my face and the invisible crown on my head that says ‘best mom in the world’.

      It’s funny but I searched through the entire Halloween bucket and I couldn’t find one bon bon. I think I need to bring my beginning statement up to date. Stay at home moms eat their kid’s Halloween candy all day. Not only is being a mom the best job in the world but my son said I’m the best mom in the world and I am holding on to his  words as long as I can. So while you sit there denying that you eat your kid’s Halloween candy , please excuse me, I need to go dust off my invisible crown!

Don't you know what causes that?

I just wanted to let you know, I’m pregnant! Yeah, congratulations, I’m so happy for you! Is that what you just said? Oh sorry let me finish, I’m pregnant with my 6^th baby! Oh. Again? How many are you going to have? Don’t you know what causes that? Where does your husband work? He does work doesn’t he? Why would anyone want that many children? What do you already have? One boy and four girls!! What if this one is a girl? Five girls, wait till they are teenagers! Ha, ha, ha, is that what you were thinking?  Don’t worry I get it all the time.

 I hesitate to tell people I’m pregnant because I know what they are thinking, but it is so hard to contain my excitement. I know the value of my womb, I know the blessing of the life that is being formed inside of me, and I am honored to carry that life. With my history of miscarriage, I don’t even know if I will ever see the face of this life, but for now I am honored to have whatever joy, anticipation, and happiness this life brings me in the meantime.

 I am saddened by what is going on in our world, when it comes to the womb. We argue whether life in the womb is life or not life. We argue choice or child. We argue legal or illegal, what has this world come to when we start killing our own offspring?  We should not be arguing about whether abortion is okay or not, we should be arguing about the fact that this is even an argument.

Throughout the book of genesis men married, had children, those children married, had children, and so on. These family trees are so important. A fruitful womb for a woman was a blessing to her husband and a barren woman would cry out to God to open her womb so she would not be a shame to her husband. Children were considered a blessing and the womb was very valuable. These women knew the value of their wombs. Pharaoh tried killing all the Hebrew boys that were born but the midwives feared God and they would not do it.  Maybe if the abortion doctors feared God they would not listen to the law of the land either?

 But you know what, it wouldn’t even matter. Take away Planned Parenthood, doctors willing to do abortions, and abortion clinics. You are still left with women that don’t want their babies. Now that is the root of the issue. I’m telling you, we are focusing on the wrong things. The women of this world are crying out. How come no one has taught them the value of their womb? We are a product of multiple generations where priorities have been placed on careers and materialism. We say to our children, "Going to college is more important than having a family. Establishing your career is more important than having a family.  Being financially stable and buying all the things you desire is more important than starting a family. Wait until you fulfill all your selfish desires and then have one or maybe two children, but that is enough. You don’t want them to take too much of your time or money." Meanwhile our children can’t control their sexual desire. So we incorporate sex education into our schools and we say it is natural and okay to feel this way and you are probably going to give into these desires and that is okay. So when you do, just use birth control because you wouldn’t want a baby to mess up your materialistic driven future plans. So you wonder why when these girls end up pregnant they despise that life, they are afraid of what people will think of them, and worry about their future. Please I am begging you. Please stop this ridiculous immoral behavior. The key to stopping abortion starts in your own home! Please for the sake of our families. Teach your daughters the proper order and the amazing ability they have of bringing life into this world. “Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones: the daughter of my people is become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness.” (Lamentations 4: 3) As a childbearing woman and a mother of four daughters this issue is close to my heart. So I write now to my daughters.

To my precious daughters, know your value, as a wife and as a mother. Grow up in training, instruction, and discipline to be a good mother and a loving wife. May this be your goal. There is no  greater position, and understanding your place, you will find true peace and contentment there. Seek a man that is like daddy, not just a God fearing man, but one that loves and cherishes you like he does. Make sure he sees the treasure he has found, when he finds you.  Remain pure. Get married young. Suppressing your sexual desires until your wedding day, will strengthen your marriage bond and will save you from many troubles. Know the value of your womb.  I pray that you will not take this for granted. If God blessings your womb with life see this for the gift it is. Take heed to the warning in Job 39: 14-17 pertaining to the ostrich, “which leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust, and forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them. She is hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers: her labour is in vain without fear; because god hath deprived her of wisdom, neither hath he imparted to her understanding”.  Plead with God for this true wisdom and understanding! He gives to all liberally. 

This is going to be the race least run. Run it with strength and integrity.

They say ha, ha, ha wait till they are teenagers. No, I will not wait till they are teenagers, I will start instructing them now to know the value of family and their womb. I will also show them by example. One day I will consider myself very blessed if my daughters face the same crowds.  Again? Don’t you know what causes that? And we will answer yes we do and we call him God.

It's not all about us

       Selfishness! Our world is consumed by it and it is nothing new. People have been selfish from the beginning of creation. Eve took a bite of the apple hoping to gain a greater knowledge than what God had given her. She was only days past being created perfectly, from nothing but a piece of rib and the hand of God. And yet she had already forgotten His power. She already could not trust that what god had provided her with was enough. No, she wanted more and she wanted to get it for herself. You cannot blame God for putting the tree there and you cannot blame the snake for tempting her. She was driven by her own selfish desires. Just like we all are every day.
     There are two ways we live. One is in fear of dying. The other is in fear of living. We spend every moment of everyday in fear of what we eat, what we drink and what chemicals might harm us. We are afraid of what is in the air we breathe, the germs that surround us, the animals that lurk in the woods.  We are afraid of diseases that cause us pain and discomfort and diseases that take our lives. We cling to anything we see or anything someone tells us about in order to keep us healthy or keep us alive as along as possible. Because we love our selves and we are selfish. We also fear for the lives of our loved ones because it would cause us pain and sadness if their lives were taken from us. Again we are selfish. On the other hand we have struggles, trials, and hard times. People make fun of us, we don’t have any money, or our families are a mess. With pain we take each breath, we live with sickness or we don’t know where we will get our next meal. Our burdens are too great and we say this life is not worth living so we either cry out to God to take this life from us or we take it ourselves. To that I say we are selfish. This life is not about our struggles or our triumphs it is about Him and He will be glorified through all things.
     Maybe we do things that we think are unselfish. To that I say we are selfish. Everything we do we do to get something in return whether it be our name on a plaque, a tax write-off, or a pat on the back. Deep inside we do these things for our own benefit.  
      No matter how healthy or unhealthy we are, no matter how much we stay away from things that are dangerous or purposefully step in front of them, one day we all will die. Then what? The food we eat will not save us. The gun we own will not save us. The tea we drink will not save us. Our air purifier will not save us and even dying will not save us. If you think these things will, then you are giving them the praise and the glory. Let that never be! The only one who can save us is the one who created life to begin with. And He will be glorified.
     You see selfishness is in our nature, God was not surprised by this, He created us this way. He created us, not exactly like Him, but in his “likeness”. He wanted us to be lacking, not perfect like Him, because If we were perfect than we wouldn’t need a savior. And this is exactly what God wanted to be, our savior. That is exactly what He created us for. He wants us to praise Him, to bow down to him, to worship Him above all else. In your triumphs, in good times, in your moments of greatness, glorify Him. In your tribulations, your struggles, and trials, glorify Him. That is the meaning of life. Yes, if you have been spending your whole life wondering, “What is the meaning of life”? It is simply, to Glorify God, that is what he created you for, to praise Him.
     As his children, when we leave this world and rid ourselves of this imperfect flesh, we will sit at his feet and glorify Him. You see Heaven isn’t about us either. It is not a big family reunion or a place where you lay in a hammock and think about how we deserve to be here because of all the great unselfish things we did. When you find yourself at the pearly gates, please do not list to God all the great things you did, I’m begging you!  Fall down at his feet unworthy and give him the glory for all things. It was about Him in the beginning and it will be about Him in the end.

“But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord” 2 Corinthians 10:17

“And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28

Take your children back

The following fictitious story is my nightmare,

                ‘At eight a.m. government officials showed up at my door.  They grabbed three of my children and said they will be taking them for seven hours to a building they have designed to train them in the way and with the information they have chosen by the individuals they have employed. They will be required to do certain work in a certain amount of time and a report will be sent to me so I may see their short comings according to their chosen scale. They will be separated according to age. They will not stay together as siblings. They will only be allowed to eat, drink, and play at designated times set by the chosen people. After the seven hours they will be returned to me with extra work that must be completed before 8:00 am the next morning when they shall return to the same regime five days a week nine months a year for thirteen years.

                As they took my three children out the door I reached for them to pull them back I held on tight as they dragged me behind I screamed at them I begged them not to take my children from me. But they persisted. I fell on my face in the middle of our driveway and as I sat in a puddle of my own tears I watched as they drove away with my children. As I examined my bloody knees and the gravel stuck to my arms I realized that for this nightmare to come true, all I would have to do is “call the bus”. ‘

 How can what many people willing and gladly do every day, be my nightmare? I believe it is because we don’t know any different. It is the way our parents did it and the way everyone else around us does it. So we just follow the herd.  We must not know any better. Well it’s too late now, I am about to tell you, there are others options and I ask you to truly consider what the current school system is doing to our families.

Though it appears I am attacking the current school system as a whole, I am really only grinding away at its foundation, so I guess eventually this will cause the whole system to come crumbling down.  Okay, maybe I am attacking the school system, but I have to.  Its foundation was bad, and yet, they continued to build on it! The foundation of the school system is to separate children from their parents. This is the first step that must happen for their system to work. By the age of five you must put your child’s essentials in a bag, put it on their back, put them on a bus, and send them away.  Have you ever asked yourself, ”why is this what is best for my child?” It is not. Our generation and the generation before us have been fooled and now our families are at stake. Our current world is full of multiple generations of broken, separated, blended, single, abusive, or absent families. Whatever title you give it, it all starts with two people who became a family and didn’t stay that way.  

No matter how educated you are, your children can learn everything they want and need to know by being given the freedom to do so, in the time and way that works for them.  They have interests and passions. Let them pursue them.  They are naturally curious. When they ask “why”, help them find the answer and you will see that they will not give up until they are truly satisfied. With this new revelation, I have seen my children in a new light and even my spouse.  We pursue our passions at our pace and in our own way, together as a family. We learn from our children as they learn from us just by living. We are living and learning together and that never ends. Families were designed to stay together. It takes a man and a woman to make a child and that is a family. It is really very basic.

Therefore, I am pleading with you. You do not have to share custody of your children with the school system. Bring it back to the basics! If it separates your families, don’t do it! If it separates you from your children, don’t do it! If it separates you from your spouse, don’t do it! It is that simple. Yet it is a daily battle in our current world as so many hands continue to knock at our door and they try to separate our families. Don’t let them! My advice would be don’t even open the door. There are other options. It’s never too late to take your children back.