Wipe it up

                                                                  Wipers wanted
                              must have experience and references
                                      Only serious wipers apply
                                      Help needed immediately
                                               Inquire within
Oh the things I wipe. Sometimes I feel like that is all I do. Wipe up this. Wipe up that. Then, at the end of the day, it is hard for someone just arriving to see what I have been doing all day. What they missed was the chaos and the wiping up of the chaos. That is, you see, what I do. I clean up life’s little messes. So to the late arriver it appears that there were no messes. Oh don’t be fooled. Life always has messes. I’ve just been wiping them up.
Here is a list of some of the things I have wiped……
poopy butts,  late night vomit, spilled milk, sticky chairs, adorable but messy faces, tears on a cheek, smirks off a face, boogers out of a nose, marker off a tongue,  poop off hands, rubbing alcohol on an umbilical cord, vaseline on a fresh circumcision, fungus from chubby armpit rolls,  lint from a belly button, tears from my eyes, blood from a nose, crayon off walls, chewing gum out of carpet, wax out of ears, tears off another cheek, puddle of pee, paint that splattered, glue that squeezed out the side, lint from the dryer, baby food from a highchair, lipstick off a toddler, nail polish off the counter, tears off another cheek, toothpaste off the sink, shampoo out of eyes, fingerprints from windows,  crumbs off the bottom of my feet, new born baby poop off my pants, dust off my “me time” box, mud off shoes, snowflakes off long eyelashes, pieces of broken glass, smacked mosquitoes off the wall, germs off hands, dried on food from a dish, and yet another tear off a cheek.
Oh no, I got to go. My children require some wiping. One is standing in a puddle of pee, another is eating a marker, the other has a smirk on her face, and oh goodness here come the tears!
 From personal experience I know that there will always be tears to wipe, but I hope that we out grow the poopy hands and puddles of pee. Okay, now I really got to go!
Urgent, If you are willing to wipe, please apply. All wipers accepted. 
From a mom who is willing to admit that sometimes I just need a little help!